please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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