how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
