new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
