So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
