I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
