why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i've created a new STD.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
