Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
