I'm really into asian looking animals
Nicole vs. Life
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
