For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
