Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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