Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
