I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize