i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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