So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
