party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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