with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
