Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
