you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
