remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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