well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
