party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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