Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
