Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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