I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
