I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize