Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
