Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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