So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
