Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
