Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
