Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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