oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
