I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
