I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
