I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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