is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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