Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
