i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am one with the molecules
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
