dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
