I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
