There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
As shirtless as possible
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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