i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
