I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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