I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
