dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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