DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
