the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
