i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
