Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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