Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
