the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bring money and cleavage
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
