my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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