After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
