We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
