those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
