I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
