people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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