She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
