There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
